The Key

Sometimes I want to tell you The words on the tip of my tongue Springing to life the emotion That tosses inside of me like fiery flames However... The lips guard the inner depths of my being With a lock and key not easily broken Sometimes I want to say things But... Toss them in  my mind too much Like an ocean debating their cause Then they lose their flame I find them so silly and Decide they are not worth saying Sometimes I try to say things It seems it's at the wrong moment And... Misunderstood or mistaken With the emotion not behind it that I had intended Then it reminds me why I do not put the key in the lock The lock that guards my heart, spirit and soul  While I have found my voice to articulate  Found it to express the things that I need  The things needing done, prepared, planned  That was a separate key you see It was not the key That.... Shares the deep dark feelings hidden away inside of me The feelings of joy, overwhelming passion, love And of course those haunting wounds That lie like monsters in the dark depths of my insides.  That key, yes that key is the one I would love to slam in the lock And... Let it all pour out But I guard my inside I guard it tight and keep that key hidden With silence not allowing it to be spoken Nor cross my lips Only haunt my mind As it screams Thrashes about Begging to come out And.... No one can hear it Only myself So I guard it tighter Wondering if I will ever feel safe enough To pour out what's inside So that light can fill the dark spaces Occasionally the lock gets old, rusty It burst forth With things spilling out  You just never know If it's the joy, love or the pain That is able to finally penetrate That rusty controlled tight never ceasing To guard lock And... Almost always I regret it It seems the very things That I had guarded are always said To the wrong ones And then are taken, twisted Used in return to offer More pain..... That must be buried And.... Added to those dark depths  A stronger lock A better key More controlled than before Never allowing my tongue The free reign It desperately desires to have For fear of harming others For fear of being harmed For sacrifice of showing Unconditional Love