Boldly She comes

I felt a boldness rise up in me and where it come from I knew.  From the depths of the truth of who I am.  Of who I know I was as a little girl before everyone broke me and pulled me down and told me I was nothing, I was nobody, I was fat, I was ugly, I was worthless, I was no good, I was a liar, I was lazy. No matter what I did or said it was never enough.  

I learned to not be me, to satisfy their words that spewed out of their mouths like hot fiery venom pointed in my direction. Burning me, searing me with their ugliness to make themselves feel superior. So I became what they needed and did not rock the boat nor open my mouth with anything that was my own words or feelings.

Until one day without a life vest, I jumped and floated away and at first with a few who swam along my side.  Then, alone,  as the words of those who cursed me for daring to live made the waves too rough. They penetrated the ears of the ones trying to throw me a life vest, and they were swallowed up in the ocean leaving me with no one but the unborn child in my stomach fighting for this life with me.   

Now many years have gone by and their words seem small to me.  Their words seem more a reflection of who they are because they are definitely not words of who I am or who I was even many years ago when they were slammed into my mind, heart, and soul. 

Today I felt a boldness rise up and peak out from the inside.  Like it was readying me to soar above all those words and be who I am.  A Great and Fiery Wild Woman!  Walking boldly in to her future with her head held high.  I am beautiful, I am brave, I am a woman of truth and I will bow before no one.